What were three kind things you did for yourself in the past week?

I’m working on self-compassion so I can help others as well as myself. 

Highly sensitive people, we need this work. Please take this letter and adapt it for yourself, or use it just as it is. In our next AYHS workshop (on Monday, August 16th), we’ll be working on re-parenting and empowering both our inner children and the kids we are raising to take charge of differential susceptibility through the work of self-compassion. 

Dear Little One,

I know you need more love and compassion from me. I see you. I see how all that careful thinking led you down the path of self criticism, sometimes even self hatred. Since your surroundings (even the people in them) have such a huge impact on you, it makes sense you would become such a perfectionist. You want to stay in control of things around you so you won’t feel so overwhelmed. 

Here’s the thing, my love, what sounds smart and clever in one part of you results in shame and sorrow in the deeper places. I see you. 

Let me hold you close to my heart and love you back to sanity. Even if the last time you felt truly kind toward yourself and sane was at birth, we can love each other right back to then. 

When did the messages begin that said you were too much? Too intense, too emotional, too shy, too sensitive–we are all of those things, but not TOO– Rather, Just Right. It hurts to even think about the broken heart you felt so young. 

But I’m here to love you into your whole heart. When you start to doubt yourself, to judge yourself, to feel like you will never be good enough, I’m here to remind you those thoughts that helped keep you safe once are not needed, or even relevant, now. Now, we love you and you don’t need them any more. 

I vow to go first to compassion little one. To create a habit of tenderness, love, and kindness toward us when the sinking feelings start up, even if it’s every five minutes some days. 

With such love and compassion,

Alane aka Laney

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