Full disclosure: my own therapist put me on this journey to explore, embrace, and hopefully one day implement self-compassion. I’m working on it, but it ain’t easy for me.
I’m good at criticism (of myself and others). I’m great at perfectionism and overworking. I’m good at feeling like the glass is half empty and then feeling badly about myself for feeling that way.
Some of these are just my temperaments, and some are survival skills I learned as a highly sensitive child growing up in a sometimes inhospitable world.
Now, in my mid-50s, it’s about time to put kindness toward me into my repertoire. Yes, I preach and teach self-care. Heck, I even practice self-care, but never well enough–that’s a haha–see how much I need to “perfect” the self-compassion thing. 😉
It’s because of differential susceptibility that we unlearn kindness toward ourselves (because we were born kind.) I’m so sorry and sad that many of us walk this path. We are definitely more susceptible to our environment, but ALWAYS REMEMBER that we are more susceptible to the good stuff, even, than we are to the bad. It’s not all about vulnerabilities.
It’s all about strengths, so please let me convince you. When you believe it, you will have true self compassion. Let’s turn off the self-doubt and turn on the self-kindness.
Here are a couple of QUESTIONS from HSPs about Self-Compassion
I struggle to have self-compassion. I developed a very healthy inner critic as a child (well, plenty of help from the parental side of course) and now I am so frustrated with myself so much of the time. When I’m tired or distracted and can’t achieve my goals or even tackle my to-do list, I feel really crappy about myself. My self-talk isn’t pretty which makes me even less productive. This is an ingrained pattern and it’s not serving me. Please help.
Life has been busy and stressful lately, and I notice that I have a very harsh inner critic lately. It’s been hard for me to see how much I am accomplishing despite what is going on in my life. I feel exhausted and I feel myself looking at the negative more than the positive. I always feel I am not doing everything I should be or can be. I blame myself when I rest and can’t muster the energy for anything. How can I stay supportive of myself when life gets crazy and barely allows me for any breaks?
You can get the replay of the August 6th workshop: Differential Susceptibility through the Lens of Self Compassion by joining the Are You Highly Sensitive Live community at areyouhighlysensitive.com/joinourmembership